The Bible says a lot of things. I don’t know all of them because I haven’t taken detailed notes, but I do know one thing: it’s a book. No matter what else it symbolizes, it is first, foremost, and physically a book of stories. The stories are myths. Every culture has myths that they pass down through the generations. All of these myths teach a lesson, and it is this lesson that is important. The story may show the lesson’s magnitude, but that’s it. Jesus was a teacher, just like Buddha and Mr. Feeny, and it is these lessons we are meant to learn.

And getting learned ain’t always easy. People have a wide scope of comprehension; some pick up every detail, some pick up none. I think most of us probably fall somewhere in the middle, and we store the information in our brain as best we can, in an automatic way that helps us to relate to it. In a sense, we remember what we want to remember.

Which brings me to the Bible. In this comic, the character of Angry Christian is protesting with his GOD HATES GAYS sign. He even asserts that the message is from God. Well, Mr. Angry Christian is wrong! The Bible doesn’t say that anywhere! Doesn’t even hint at it! And what sense would it make to create gay people just to hate them? And why have an overwhelming number of lessons about peace and love, then sandwich in a few specific little bigoted bits? It don’t make no kinda sense to me.

I think if people treated their sacred texts as metaphorical and allegorical lessons, they would better understand the writing inside. To the best of my awareness, God is not an omniscient man behind the curtain of our existence. I see God as a guiding flow of energy that harmonizes everything. And I see any quotes attributed to God as man’s best effort to explain the unanswerable questions about why we are here. We just want some answers, that’s all.

So don’t believe everything that you read. God doesn’t hate gays. Or people with signs.