I’ve been thinking about a girl who was just like soma, a girl who’d said we should be pals, trying to find a reason she wouldn’t be interested in me. It haunts me, maybe for my own ego, but still, it haunts me. We were both brilliant, energetic; so many similarities. Our only difference was that I wanted her and she not want to be wanted.

After talking to a friend about her, he reminded me of something I mentioned once. She failed the test.

The test is this. When you go on a date with a girl, pull up to where she lives. Before you get out of the car, lock both doors. Then, get out of the car and walk over to her. Bring her over to the car, unlock her door, and open it for her. As you walk around the back of the car, look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and unlock your door so that you can get in, dump her. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s selfish and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg.

It was then that I realized I could never be with her, and it was then that I never wanted soma again.