Yesterday afternoon, I schemed.

There was fresh cement poured across the street from my house, and a guy had been hired to make sure nobody vandalized it. Well, since I was already waiting out on the front steps, I hatched a plan.

First, I took an apple, chopped it in half, and carved an imprint into it. Next, after observing the ever-vigilant sidewalk monitor for some time, I noticed that he was drinking a lot. It would only be a matter of time before he would have to go to the washroom, thus leaving me with my opportunity to strike.

And then I was in and out like a bank heist.

Granted, I’ve never actually been involved in a bank heist, but I do however enjoy heist movies, and I’d say my execution was somewhere between Ocean’s Eleven and Dog Day Afternoon. By the time I was there imprinting the cement, it had dried considerably and my apple had gotten mushy. The result was a very slight impression, which, hopefully, will still be noticeable years from now.