A dream last night that I couldn’t shake despite waking from it twice had me arriving from a flight to Vancouver and being met by my father. Such a surprise that he managed to navigate his way through public transportation to welcome me home. I was so happy and relieved to see him. I followed him up an escalator, on the Skytrain, on the bus; always behind him, always looking up at him. We went in circles, neither of us could navigate the city well enough to escape the loop. The city blurred every place I’ve lived; Peace River, Edmonton, and here, Vancouver. We never found our way.

Yesterday afternoon left me unable to fight feelings of insufficiency. My mind was running scared. It was nothing more than I couldn’t. Everything.

Yesterday evening I could. Once again, I could, and she brought me there. I never want to go back. Or, for that matter, anywhere without her.